JCArticles

When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the situation mentally and try to determine if it is threatening to us. If we feel that we don't have the skills or resources necessary to deal with the situation then we feel stress. We don't feel stress when we think that we have more than enough resources to cope. Not everyone sees a situation in the same way; therefore, no two people react to stress in the same way. I have identified 5 steps for managing stress.

1. Identify the external and interior factors that create stress for you

External factors can include certain people, places, the time of the year, month or day. Interior factors can include when you are tired, hungry, not feeling well, bored or simply out of energy. Events that we perceive as joyful such as bringing home a new baby, moving to the house of our dreams, landing that job you've always wanted or when your children leave home often leave us feeling stressed simply because we don't feel prepared to deal with them.

2. How do you know you are stressed?

Identify the symptoms or indicators. Does your heart beat faster? Does your stomach feel knotted up? Are your muscles tense? Do you have a sense of dread? Do you spend a lot of time complaining to anyone who will listen? Find yourself getting angry easily? I often feel scattered, unfocused, like I'm being pulled in a thousand directions at once. These feelings are associated with the fight-or-flight response causing a release of adrenaline. This is the response that has helped the human race survive up to this point by readying our body to deal with threatening situations.

3. You own it! You are ultimately responsible for your own reaction to the stress at hand.

What goes on in our mind falls within our ownership and control. Even in the most difficult of external circumstances you can create your own thoughts, make any meaning or respond in any way you wish. No one can make you feel stress, if you decide to react otherwise.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

What is behind your reaction to the stress at hand? Do you feel helpless, out of control or victimized? Realize that you cannot control anybody else's behavior but you can definitely control your own attitude and therefore your reaction to their behavior.

We create our own reality by what information we allow to come to our attention and how we choose to interpret it. There are billions of pieces of information fighting for our attention at all times. Based on what filters we have in place, we are only aware of a small portion of it. We interpret the information that we choose to be aware of based on a variety of factors including our beliefs. If we choose to pay attention to different pieces of information, or if we choose to interpret them differently, then we change our attitude or reaction.

4. Cheer up! There are a variety of strategies available to help you cope with stress.

a) Reframing
The meaning we attach to a situation or event depends on the frame we put around it. How many of you have a bad script in your head and it's looping over and over? Do any of you have a picture or a situation that you just can't forget about? Let's try some reframing.